Proclamation of Nov 5, 2020

In light of the collapse of the American Republic and obvious failure of the two party system that we are all bearing witness to, through the authority vested in me by Sacred Destiny and Almighty Declaration, I have decided to assume the role of Duke of Upper Hollywood and Protector of Burbank.

Watch this illustrious publication, The Desperate Times, for further information regarding the formation of our new government, and our policies to better the lives of all our citizens. And as our beloved United States of America and State of California descend into chaos all around us, know that the full might and talent of the Duchy of Upper Hollywood stands ready to preserve your freedom and open a path to prosperity. Stand, sit, or generally lounge about TALL, with courage in your heart, for you are not alone.

Ari the First
Heir of House Schindler
Duke of Upper Hollywood
Protector of Burbank
Editor of the Desperate Times